"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." - August Wilson

Friday, October 15, 2010

Alone Time and Regaining Energy

When I was very severely depressed I used to sequester myself away from everyone else.  I didn't know why I was doing it, in fact at first I didn't even realize I was doing it.  This is common amongst those that suffer from Anxiety and Depression. Only in retrospect do I have a theory as to why this is so common:

 I believe that those that suffer from anxiety and depression are amongst the most empathetic, caring and loving people in the world - even to their own detriment.  They will give themselves away until it hurts.  This world is filled with suffering and pain, and those that suffer from depression fully understand that pain and long to help fix it in any way that they can.

So naturally they all come to a point where it becomes essential for them to remove themselves from the presence of that pain - which comes in the form of other people - for self preservation.   They intrinsically understand that they have to be able to store up enough energy to go forward with their own lives.

So what we must learn is how to set up boundaries that allow us to help minister to others, while at the same time preventing ourselves from depleting ourselves to the point that we can no longer go forward.  A warrior is useless if she has no strength at all to move forward.

I have not effectively dealt with this in my own life - but I'm seeking, and have found some solutions! 

The first way of course is to understand that we are not battling under our own power, but by the strength of our Lord.  And one thing he has done by his grace and mercy is to send other fellow warriors to help prop us up when we need it.   So when my own closest friends and family had no idea how to deal with my depression I found other depressives that did.  And I am very grateful for them!

It's ironic to think that being around other women who suffer from anxiety and depression helps me, but boy does it!  I have found that our Support Group is filled with wise, giving, caring women!  And somehow being around others who suffer from the same afflictions that I do strengthens me.  Yes there are tears in our group, but they are nearly always tears of joy!  There is a great catharsis that I feel every time one of the other women expresses her feelings that completely match my own!  And experiencing these beautiful women minister to one another through hope and by the love of Jesus Christ somehow edifies every one of us.

So I would encourage others that suffer from Anxiety and Depression to surround themselves by others that suffer as well - make them your 'go to' group when you are feeling the need to be alone.  Some 'alone time' is quite healthy and should be encouraged.  But when isolation is becoming a detriment to your own well being it is time to stand with others who fully understand what you are going through.

Reach out - you are not alone!

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